Wow. I'm here! Lakeside Montana couldn't feel more peaceful, more beautiful, more restful... fresh air in my lungs and in my soul. Life is good here.
School started Monday, and tomorrow I will be done with my first book we've gone through in our 9 month Inductive Bible Study School. We started with Philemon. Who would have thought that one of the tiniest of Paul's letters would be filled with such intense teaching-- in forgiveness, and the equality we have with one another as brothers and sisters in what Jesus has done for us! We are all equally in need of forgiveness, and equally needing to live extending forgiveness. I have pages and pages of notes and research and observations of 25 verses. Haha. Only thousands upon thousands more to go!
Lol, the workload is wild, but in all honesty, it's the most renewing feeling i've ever known. With every ounce of effort I put out into our work, Jesus breathes into my heart with His life, peace, joy, understanding of my Bible. I feel like Jesus is literally breathing air into my lungs again.
And I just am sitting in my room. Breathing. Have you ever had one of those moments? Where you catch yourself breathing? Like, you are aware of it. How crazy it is that our bodies are taking in air, and putting it out every second of our lives and we never think twice about it! I don't know about you, but I have come to find that while my body does this continuously, my heart and my soul can have a harder time doing the same. There are so many times that because of different situations and events that occur in life, that my heart holds it's breath--- That my soul feels like it is running low on oxygen...
You know those times? When trust is broken? When love is abused? When we get the phone call? When the clock runs out? When they already filled the position? When the bills keep growing and the account keeps shrinking? When you realize how lonely you really are at times? When that thing you've been running from, finally catches up with you? When you're slapped in the face with the reality that they saying is true: wherever you go, there you are?
When we stand in the midst of who we are--- our whole story. With questions, and failures, and let downs, and struggles, and joys, and dreams, and relationships full of the truest joy and the greatest risk? Where we come from, and where we dream to make it some day?
It's like water to the lungs for me sometimes. Like drowning in my life.
And then we remember. We remember the one who knew what this life is like. And who promised me that in His love, He will breathe life into my lungs, into my heart, into my soul.
This is the power of letting the Bible speak for itself. This is a term we use here. This is what the School of Biblical Studies is all about. That the truth of the Bible would not be filtered through my life and my circumstances, reducing it's truth conditional on my circumstance and certainly not filled with any hope for me.
But that the Bible speaks for itself! Full of truth, and hope, and love, and mercy, and forgiveness, and LIFE. And we let that truth open up the airways for us again. That I don't drown because life can be messy, but I can BREATHE because GOD LOVES ME. And His love breathes life into me again.
He loves me.
He loves me.
He loves me.
And He has life for me. And I am finding it for what it is this year, and not what I think it is, because, (can I be so honest) sometimes the life that I think God offers me just doesn't seem to cut it. I need the life only a God as awesome and good and true and BIG can give me. The real deal.
So thank you. Thank you for helping me be here. Some of you financially. All of you relationally. I count it such a privilege to be here. Such a privilege to have people like you in my life. I am working hard, finding life, and falling more in love with the heart of God than I can say. And praying... thanking God for you. Praying He would bless you, and keep you, and breathe this sort of life into you. The real deal. What Jesus died for you to have.
The power of Love.
Love you more than I can say. Miss you already! and will update you soon!
But for now, Love is enough.
Meg.
